HER: The future is plumb scary

Her is one of those sci-fi pictures that’s particularly unnerving because it’s not that far into the future – and because it’s simply not that far-fetched. It’s a little too easy to picture oneself living in this universe. It’s just like our world, except that the entire thing has been varnished with a billion gallons of Steve-Jobs-Apple lacquer. And while Joaquin Phoenix, Amy Adams, and the others living there seem to be perfectly alright with it, it gave me a serious case of the heebie-jeebies.

Her has been out for a while, and if you’ve read anything about it (or seen the trailer, for that matter), you’ll know that our hero Theodore has fallen head-over-heels in love with his operating system, a technological tart who named herself Samantha. Would he still have fallen in love with her had she had a man’s voice and named herself Sammy? That is the question, isn’t it?

To be honest, it’s not the falling-in-love-with-a-computer thing that creeped me out so much, although Theodore and Samantha do take phone sex to a whole new – and rather discomfiting – level. No, what bothered me more than anything about this imagined universe were the men’s fashions. If you thought today’s skinny jeans were bad, wait ’til you see the high-waisted britches that are waiting for us in the future.

I’m not the only one who was alarmed by these pants, either. Even leading man Joaquin Phoenix said he hoped they wouldn’t catch on. “They’re very uncomfortable,” he admitted. Alas, Time is reporting that the pants are already in stores and selling briskly. Which brings me to the thought I had about all the futuristic possibilities showcased in Her: Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

See the trailer

Then see the parody trailer for Him

JACK RYAN: SHADOW RECRUIT: Not as advertised

I’ve never read a single Tom Clancy novel in my life, and I’ve never seen a movie based on his character, Jack Ryan. So what possessed me to go see Shadow Recruit on opening night? Two things, really. First was the cast, which includes Chris Pine, Kevin Costner (my spirit animal), Keira Knightley, and Sir Kenneth Branagh, who also directed the movie. The second thing – and this is the clincher – was the trailer.

I know a lot of thought and “stategery” goes into making a movie trailer. Morgan Spurlock showed me that. But in the case of Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit, the trailer-makers went above and beyond – way beyond – hinting at a storyline that never materialized in the movie. As a result, I spent the whole time  looking for, waiting for, and hoping for a plot twist that never happened. I left the theater feeling cheated.

This is a problem. Sure, the trailer got me to buy a movie ticket, but it also paved the way for disappointment. I feel quite sure I still would have seen the movie even without a trailerful of innuendo – and I would have enjoyed it a lot more. In fact, I’d like to see Shadow Recruit again, but this time judge it on its own merits, without all the preconceived notions planted in my brain by the advertisements. I bet it’s pretty good.

Still want to see the trailer?

Is Kevin Costner your spirit animal too? Check out what’s coming this Friday.

NEW YEAR MOVIE ROUNDUP: The holiday five

Although I didn’t report back at the time, I saw lots of movies over the holidays – five total. Here’s a quick recap:

ANCHORMAN: THE LEGEND CONTINUES. The night it opened, Anchorman 2 was the only movie all three Webbers could agree on. There’s only one reason to see a movie like this, and it’s to see how long it takes Ron Burgundy to make you laugh. Though we each reached that goal at different points in the movie, all three Webbers succumbed to his classy charms, although I admit my feelings got hurt when they started poking fun at Ice Castles. Too soon, fellas.

See the trailer

AMERICAN HUSTLE. Mr. Webber and I saw this one not only because we wanted to but because we felt we had to. And although it was as well done as everybody said it was, I have to admit it didn’t have much of an effect on me. It’s one of those movies where there’s no hero – nobody I wanted to root for, anyway – so I ended up not caring what happened to any of them. Well, that’s not entirely true. I was really hoping Christian Bale’s awe-inspiring comb-over stayed put.

See the trailer

SAVING MR. BANKS. Hang on – things are about to get meta. Mr. Banks is a Disney movie that Disneyfies the story of how Disney Disneyfied the story of Mary Poppins. To put it another way, not only did Disney (the man) take all the piss and vinegar out of the original Mary Poppins, but Disney (the company) made a movie about how happy everything turned out in the end. It was a fine film, but you’d think, after all this time, we could be trusted with the truth.

See the trailer

PHILOMENA: No way was I going to miss this film starring Steve Coogan and my beloved Judi Dench. It’s the true story of a poor, unwed Irishwoman whose child was taken from her. Fifty years have passed, and Philomena Lee has finally found someone willing to help her track him down, however tricky or emotionally difficult that may be. Although the ending was not the one Walt Disney would have wanted, I left the theater feeling satisfied – and promptly put the book on my wishlist.

See the trailer

THE SECRET LIFE OF WALTER MITTY: Disagreeing with movie critics – it’s what we do best here at Movie Review for Mere Mortals. Walter Mitty is a wonderful case in point. Ben Stiller starred in – and directed – this perfect little movie, and all he got was a lot of grief. Walter Mitty is gorgeous, amusing, heartfelt, clever, and, dare I say it, inspiring. I’m not sure what more you could want from a movie, and I’m proud to say it was my favorite of the Holiday Five.

See the trailer

THE MONUMENTS MEN: It did the trick

I heard only the tail-end of NPR’s review of The Monuments Men – just enough to hear something I wasn’t expecting. Namely, that the film is short on art and has no sense of urgency. Fortunately, Bob Mondello’s review didn’t keep the Webbers from seeing The Monuments Men as planned on opening night. And as much as I hate to disagree with Bob, I can’t remember the last time I saw so much art – or cared about it so much.

It’s World War II, and Hitler is committing human atrocities I can’t begin to wrap my head around. As if that weren’t enough, he’s also going around making bonfires out of priceless works of art that have been around longer than any of us have been or ever will be. How’s that for urgency? It certainly did the trick for me.

The next day, I saw that this week’s issue of Entertainment Weekly gave The Monuments Men a grade of C- and called it “a bizarre failure.” In fact, given the sheer quantity of bad reviews that piled up over the weekend, you may be tempted to think I’m just giving actor/director George Clooney a pass here. Trust me, I don’t love him enough to do that. I liked neither The Descendants nor Up in the Air, and I promise I felt no compulsion whatsoever to like this one. But lo and behold, I did anyway. And so did Mr. Webber.

No, it’s not Schindler’s List, thank heavens. But neither is it Hogan’s Heroes. It’s just a solid movie with fine actors telling a true story that probably should have been told a long time ago. A special tip of the helmet goes to Cate Blanchett as a feisty Frenchwoman and Matt Damon as the art curator who talks her off her high horse. You’ll also recognize Downton Abbey‘s Hugh Bonneville and The Artist‘s Jean Dujardin among the group. Ocean’s 11 they ain’t, but I promise they’ll come through in the clutch.

P.S. Should you decide to see this movie despite the critics’ warnings, be sure and stay for the credits. The photos from the real-life mission are a really nice touch.